I rearranged my web presence.
I am a certified paralegal. My professional pages can be seen at: http://www.beyond.com/richardbateman
The page for my stage show is at: http://pendark.webs.com/
My fun nostalgia and madness page can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/Pendarksmindandmadness
My political opinions page can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/oughttobecommonsense
My patriotic character can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/RBUncleSam
The books I have written may be found at:
https://www.createspace.com/4047006 (Printed version of The Mind And Madness of a Modern Magus.)
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00A10IXN0 (Kindle Version.)
https://www.createspace.com/4132878 (Printed version of Now That We Have Established That We Are Mad…)
http://preview.tinyurl.com/lxfaaks (Kindle version)
I will be closing this blog.
I have too many. Follow me at one of the others:
Exerpt From My New Writing Project, (Circle Of 9):
15 And when the servant of the man of God was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do?
16 And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.
17 And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.— 2 Kings 6:15-17
King James Version (KJV)
luxfux asked: Hi! I just got my copy of your book in the mail (ordered through amazon). I havent re ad it yet but the format and size are not what I had expected at all. Just want to let you know that im looking forward to reading it. :)
Well, thank you for the purchase. Which of the two currently available titles did you purchase?
The size and format were a test. 8 x 10 is a large format, I know, but I wanted to keep each of the essays I had written in as close to their original format as is possible in the medium.
It may or may not be what you had expected. I make no pretense of believing my writing is for everyone. But, when you have read it, any and all feedback is welcome. Again, thank you for your purchase.
I can’t make my past go away. All I can do is live past it and grow beyond it.
WHY SEEK THESE THINGS?
“What does one desire from the sexual act? That everything around give you its utter attention, think only of you, care only for you… Every man wants to be a tyrant when he fornicates.” (De Sade)
Here, I could have simply written, “DON’T!” But for me to do that would be about as intellectually honest as suggesting that abstinence is an effective form of birth control. When I have to give my now 6 year old “the talk,” my lecturing him on pornography and masturbation will be like a former cocaine addict lecturing his kid about the joint in his pocket.
I believe the above quote is the definitive statement on the real and often denied reason a man wants to be in a position of dominance over a woman. Personally, I sought to be a dominant in my lifestyle and practice certain fetishes and sexual acts in order to become a despot of sorts. I wanted to understand the ultimate power of knowing that I had control over another human. I have since discovered that my personal desire goes far beyond being “just a tyrant” or ruling over people. I wanted to rule my own world and be the master of my own destiny.
I wanted to have structure, rules, and organization in my life. These things had been missing. I became what I am in order to fully experience what it means to rise above the human condition and gain control over the nature of one’s own existence. I sought to couple with that one person that could bring out the ultimate potential of my masculinity, my sensitivity and my self-awareness.
I sought to gain “tyrannical” control over my nature, my desires, my whims and my limitations. It is a personal journey to be taken for the purpose of self-improvement and not trying to be better than anyone else or change anyone else. Trying to control others and manipulate them ends in your downfall. I gained some of that control by actually holding temporary control over another person’s will, emotions, actions and spirit, while in my bedroom.
While that control was not absolute, in that the one submitting to my will was still ultimately a sovereign individual, it became even more pleasurable to know that she gave me that control of her own volition. Despotism is of no use without someone over whom to rule. And the wildest, most untamed, most underestimated enemy of any man that would be in control of the world around him, is himself.
Rule over the self must be the first goal of any potential leader of men. What often times still perplexes me is how to maintain control over false emotions, my reactions to things, and what I allow others to “make me feel”. I engage in political debate, emotional exchange, social opinion, and interpersonal reactionary behaviors all the time. I do so because, like you, I am human.
The human animal is so complex a beast that scientists, psychologists, sociologists, and others still do not have a full grasp on what makes us tick. We are so full of personal, political, spiritual, emotional, and social prejudices that it is a wonder to me that any of us find the capacity to get along.
My personal opinions, feelings, and thoughts accompany me in all that I do. This often puts me at odds with people of differing view. I’ll speak more on that later. We are here to talk about personal sexuality, personal philosophies on life, and the connection between the two.
And my strong, unapologetic, sometimes brutally blunt nature is what accompanies me through this part of my personal journey. So, that is what you the reader are getting. And, yes, I know I have just used the word control. I told you earlier that control is an illusion. But, I was referring to the notion of controlling the universe and the world around you. You do have control over your own actions, reactions, movements, words, works, etc.
It is important to note here, that there are times when I am not the dominant. I turn that control over to another on occasion. She tends to be more practical and analytical. She tends to be very good at putting her foot down and reminding me when my head is in the clouds or my temper is flaring, or I am being unreasonable in my thinking. We also have a toddler in the house. There are times when she must be the dominant and correct the boy on something, or remind me of the proper way to handle a situation with him. This is called co-relationship, co-parenting, and co-existing.
Despite that, there is still a true, momentary, occasional subjugation to my desires, which she offers me and is repaid to her with the respect that I provide her and with an outlet for her own passions. Thus we are living in a mutually beneficial arrangement. It is an exchange of love. We are older now and the moments are further between, but they remain.
That is the part missed by the “Breeders are evil” faction of the gay and lesbian community. They just don’t seem to get that sometimes, the acts of coupling as man and woman, the bearing of children, and the institution of marriage are seen by some of us as acts of love. They are not some oppressive and draconian set of laws we hope to force on those not of our mindset. In fact, most of us are as pissed off about government involvement in marriage as you are.
And it is an exchange that has had its rules changed and its conditions altered. She has had back surgery and has diabetes. We have a kid in the house. And we have grown older since the beginning of our relationship. She has developed health related issues that preclude certain activities and I have adopted a strictly clinical and instructional manner in my lecture and demonstration. Things do change. But as they change, so must the basic things remain the same. The same, I believe, holds true for our society.
Yes, we must advance further into the technological age. Yes, politics and sociology must by their very definitions be altered by each generation of people. But, we must not forget the core principles that make every society strong. We must not let go of the traditional things that hold a society together. We must not forget the founding precepts. We must not forget our spiritual selves as we expand our societal selves.
It is an unfortunate fact of our society, that sex and sensuality have been removed of the notion of love and exchange. (I will discuss that further later.) It is sad to me, that the notion of a loving relationship between consenting adults of whatever gender or number combination, has been reduced to a deviant practice held by those snubbing conservative values or polite ideals.
In my case, it is a simple matter of decorum and values that keeps what I teach people from becoming an excuse for debauch. In turn, my mate understands that I am a stage performer and a wizard and as such, there will be situations when I am left alone with other human beings in situations that could lead to intimacy. Long trips, dressing rooms and hotel rooms get shared between members of a performing troupe, etc. The level of trust she bestows on me is not infinite, but it is immense.
I return that trust by committing myself to the restraint of my desires and the preservation of an honor code. That is the exchange. It is simple, but complex.
The overall philosophy you read here is that we must accept, recognize, embrace, and control that side of our personal nature that we have kept locked away. As you progress through this series of thoughts, you will find that I tend to drum that rhythm over and over again. This is because I honestly believe it to be true with all of my being.
Now, let’s delve a little deeper into the philosophy behind the choice to be a sensual being. The principle of yin-Yang is, in my opinion, incomplete. We try to live in the realm of stark duality. This realm is an illusion. The reality of life is that there are three layers, three levels, and three modes of existence. When you look at the symbol of Yin-yang, you see a light side, with a hint of dark and a dark side with a hint of light. Most people fail to see the line between.
This line is not a division between dark and light. It is the place where most of us dwell most of the time. We are always in a state of making those decisions that will affect the grand scheme of the world around us. We are always in a state of deciding what we will and will not be.
This book is an example of that place. Not everything you read here will be for you. That is the whole point. Read, think, and decide. Ignore what is not for you. Don’t allow the world to dictate what you will be or do. Live as an individual first, then as a citizen of the community.
Retain your sovereignty and individuality in spite of an education and political system that has decided that we must all be androgynous, homogenized, filtered down politically correct, state controlled, godless drones.
To reach for the light, we have to embrace the darkness within. We have to admit, accept, and evolve. This isn’t done through the denial of our whims, fantasies, needs, and desires. It is done through recognizing which of them is dangerous to our well-being and evolution.
The true principle of Yin-Yang is at work in these discoveries that we are discussing in this text. But there is the third element of the line drawn between Yin and Yang that is equally important. You must have a clearly defined line between the dark and the light in your life. You draw that line with a clear set of personal morals, goals, and rules.
You follow those rules to keep a direct and unshakable balance between the positive and negative energies, the hot and cold passions, the soft and hard attitudes, the gentle and the rigid emotions, etc. You do not subjugate yourself to the despotism of a ruler that has no intent to grant you your personal sovereignty and individualism.
You become the ruler of your own path. By recognizing the dark and the light in your life with equal respect and concern, you will walk a path more like the philosophers of old intended. You will develop a balanced, middle path of being. But it begins by first coming to center and asserting the self.
This is not “selfishness.” This is being thoughtful of who and what you are and asserting that you will be who and what you are in a manner most uplifting to others and most beneficial to the world.
“If you think about what you ought to do for other people, your character will take care of itself.” (Woodrow Wilson)
This must be true of your relationships with your family, your community, your country, and your world. But it begins with your relationship with yourself. Unless you are willing to allow yourself the individual freedom of making mistakes, growing past them, changing your outlook and at times mending your ways; you cannot ever hope to be a despotic ruler of your being.
Until you can take a good hard look at yourself and see that you have within you a terrible, uncontrolled demon self that has the power to utterly destroy everyone and everything around you; then you have no full reckoning of the self. Until you have felt the call of the seven deadly sins and recognized their voices, you can’t hope to hear the still, small voices of the virtues. Until you have seen the devil face to face, you can’t hope to recognize God.
And therein lies the problem with our society. We do not recognize that the little acts of hatred, violence, greed, lust, avarice and prejudice that we commit every day; are all adding up to a compounded repetition of those acts. Everyone you anger, cheat, steal from, act violently toward, spread rumors about, lie to, or refuse to help; goes on to commit a similar act to another person and so on.
By the same token, if you lend a listening ear, a helping hand, treat someone right; you create a ripple effect in their behaviors and they go on to do right by others, if they are beings of any conscience at all. I love the film Pay It Forward because it illustrates this principle so beautifully.
Mankind is becoming complacent and dependent, like cattle. We sit around chewing our cud and waiting to be slaughtered. We occasionally let out a moo to inform the world that we are still breathing. But rarely do we move outside the self-imposed fences of comfort. Most of us would have no idea what to do if there was a disaster on such a large scale that we had no government or industry to rely on for our safety and sustenance.
The mentality that would take over is one that was demonstrated during hurricane Katrina. We saw people wading hip deep in their own filth to go and steal television sets and save their beer. Then as the city of New Orleans was being cleaned and rebuilt, thousands of the same kinds of people were added to the welfare rolls of surrounding states, where most of them remain to this day.
I don’t think it has anything to do with color or social grouping. I think it is an unfortunate fact that all of us would fall to the same level if given an excuse.
Nobody is concerned for anything but their own comfort. Few know how to live without television, video games, three hundred dollar tennis shoes, or our Gucci and Abercrombie status wear. We are all hopelessly dependent animals, fattened and kept complacent by our dependence on goods, media and government. No wonder few of us have any concept of decency accountability or “paying it forward”.
“Make yourself necessary to somebody.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
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